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How Not to Solve a Problem

Ever come across something truly odd in a building? Jeff came across a diagonally-installed toilet, and that inspired this post – unforeseen problems come up in construction all the time, and it sure helps to have an architect on had to make sure you solve it in a way that makes sense.

September 27, 2012

I last wrote about how remodels can be both rewarding and horrifying. What I didn’t write about, though, was how to actually deal with the problems when they come up.

Because they will come up, you can trust me.

There are going to be beams you can’t relocate without Herculean effort, electrical situations that just have to be worked around, and drain pipes that you just can’t move.

And that, I am guessing, is what caused this truly awful, upsetting, and just plain ugly solution I saw recently at a hotel in Portland, Oregon.

Don't you just want to grab this thing and twist it to the left?

I. Just. Can’t. Cope.

See, here’s what I imagine happened. An older hotel needed a refresh, so they hired a design firm. The firm came up with a bunch of snazzy options for the place, elevations were drafted, finishes were picked out, and approval was granted. And yet, this was what I saw upon entering my bathroom.

How? Why?

Well, there are two possibilities, and both are upsetting to me.

The first possibility, is that they measured the rooms and knew that the drains were too close to the wall to begin with to meet current accessibility requirements. It happens. Older buildings were just... built. Toilets now need to be a certain distance from the wall to meet requirements / code / law. So the solutions available were:

  • Move the wall out from the toilet to grab the clearance you need. (But, this may have made the clearances not work at the entry area, although I doubt this, and you’ll see why later.)
  • Move the toilet drain in the floor. This was probably a costly option, but definitely feasible.
  • They caught the error, but weren’t willing to give up the sliding barn door to the bathroom. What’s that? Yes, this bathroom had a pretty trendy sliding barn door hung on the hall side. It takes up a good 3” to 4” of space in the hallway, and if they got rid of it, it would probably enough to slide the wall out, giving the toilet the clearance it needed. But nope, the barn door stayed. (Side note: barn doors are NOT good at isolating sound. Travel alone when at this hotel, or prepare to use the lobby bathroom after a hearty dinner. Truth is not pretty.)
  • Set the toilet at a %&*!#$ angle. Really. Angle. The. Damn. Toilet.

Somehow, the fourth option was chosen. It is quite possible that the client pushed the issue, and the designer relented, presenting this angled toilet option against their better wishes. Shame. On. Everyone.

OR

The other thing that could have happened, is that everything was drafted, and then they went to install everything, and realized that one of the following things had happened:

  • Someone not fully knowledgeable about the laws put the toilet in a location that was too close to the wall and no one caught it. Ouch.
  • Where everyone thought the toilet drain was located was actually NOT where it was located. The contractor never verified that there wasn’t a conflict before ordering the cabinets, and thus cabinets arrived on site, walls were built, and WHAT THE HELL DO WE DO? Yuck. This is a miserable solution.
  • Hey! Things don’t fit? I know, I’ve always wanted to ANGLE THE DAMN TOILET. Groan.

So, however you look at this, someone dropped the ball. It is ugly, and while it certainly works, it didn’t create a lasting impression of quality and design. I will forever remember this hotel as having the most ridiculous toilet in a hotel I had ever seen. And let me tell you, I have stayed at some nasty and gross hotels (thank you, cross-country road trips!), and even THEY got the toilet perpendicular to the wall.

What do you do when you encounter a problem? It isn’t always so easy. In a situation like this, you can see that there were several ways they could have got to this predicament, and just as many possible solutions. Remodeling spaces isn’t easy, and it takes not only a trained professional, but also a GOOD one to help you navigate the best solution with the least compromises. I say the least compromises because it is clear that some challenging situations are going to require compromise, whether for budget or aesthetics.

Finding that sweet spot of perfect compromise is my job. Sitting on a toilet perpendicular to the wall is yours.

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